Ready for Game Day!

I’ve been watching a lot of football these past weeks – college playoffs and championships, NFL conference playoffs, the run for the Super Bowl next month – a lot of football!

 

It’s been great fun seeing the games, but being the psychologist that I am, I’ve been enthralled with all the plays, strategies, and coaching decisions that have been part of the action.

 

I was reminded that it’s not just a bunch of guys playing a game for fun – something’s at stake. Coaches and athletes don’t leave the outcome to chance. They have a playbook. They show up on game day with a strategic plan.

 

Dave Adamson-Unsplash

We don’t typically think about having a plan when we’re on the playing fields of our relationships. 

 

We start speaking without thinking; we bring up hot topics when were emotional, and our motivation is to be heard rather than to listen.

 

When we want something to change, we criticize rather than calmly express our true desires.

 

We find ourselves losing yardage in the conversation, and what’s at stake – the health of our relationship – is in jeopardy.

 

It doesn’t take long for relational patterns to develop. You’ve already learned quite a bit about how conversations go with your significant people.

 

So, why not have a playbook of your own?

 

When things are getting heated and you need some space to consider what you should do, call a time out.

 

When your plays for total resolution (your touchdown) become unrealistic, simply think of the next best step for you both to take. (Kick that field goal.)

 

When the other person isn’t behaving in ways you expected, give yourself permission to call an audible – to change your approach (maybe your mind) to something different.

 

(As I said, ‘been watching a lot of football.)

 

Difficult conversations will always happen with people in your life (we’re human beings, right?), but it certainly is possible for you to walk away from them holding the game ball!

 

Cheers to you – making a plan to feel like a winner!

DrKay 

If you'd like to discover more about how to build our playbook, contact me at stormbreakerconflictcoaching.com and let's talk!  

"12 Ways to Rule in Conflict" Free Ebook Download  

 

You're In Charge

You won’t change the story of your relationships until you reclaim 

your authority to write it.

Many times we realize we want something to be different in our relationships – we want to make a change – but somehow this thought never gets translated into action.

Not understanding the personal authority we possess is one of the central barriers to confidently undertaking this effort.

When I use the term, personal authority, I’m defining it as total dominion over yourself to:

Dictate your own choices

Say “no” when that’s what you want to say, and to say “yes”

Regulate what you’re not willing to accept in your relationships – and what you are

Determine the culture of your sphere of influence

Take a minute to think about this today. Do you recognize yourself in these statements? Which ones? Which ones have you forgotten you own?

Let 2019 be the year you take hold of this truth – especially in the areas where you have abdicated your rule. 

When you’re facing tough situations with the people in your life, remember the authority that already belongs to you. Not with the intention to overpower them, but so you can have assurance for the jurisdiction of your actions.

This will enable you to function from a place of confidence and security. Best of all, it will open your heart to compassion and love.

Cheers to you – understanding your authorship!

DrK

If you'd like to discover more about how to access your personal authority, contact me at stormbreakerconflictcoaching.com for a complimentary conversation!  

"12 Ways to Rule in Conflict" Free Ebook Download  

 

Under Construction (Me, You, and this Blog)

I am a conflict coach. (What's that?" you ask)
Simply put, I help you do conflict better.

Despite the fact that there is a whole profession of conflict resolution people out there, the majority of folks I talk to don't even know there is such a thing as someone who can support you in dealing with conflict.

Frequently, it's organizations that seek out conflict resolution professionals when a conflict has gotten so bad they are ready for outside help, but most of us don't think at all about getting help with mastering the conflicts in our day-to-day lives.

I was pretty much the same way before I got my PhD in this area. When I began to study conflict, I discovered that interpersonal conflict didn't always have to feel like white water rapids sweeping you away (much of it is predictable, who knew?). You can learn skills to actually give you some influence about how it goes. You just have to be willing to grow and change.

This is a new blog today. As the title states, it's under construction. I'm still trying to figure out the mechanics of setting it up, and how to fix all my mistakes (which I'm sure will be quite obvious to you). Yet, I still wanted to go ahead and start posting. After all, isn't that how we do much of life? Figuring it out as we go, learning how to fix our mistakes, but still wanting to jump in and engage.

I'm looking forward to opening the world of conflict mastery to you here, and sharing both my personal perspectives (read more at About This Blog) and that of my colleagues'. I trust you will discover new things about yourself and your relationships, and find new abilities to positively influence the conflicts in your life.

If you'd like to learn more about this, visit www.confidentconflict.com and contact me today!