I’ve been watching a lot of football these past weeks – college playoffs and championships, NFL conference playoffs, the run for the Super Bowl next month – a lot of football!
It’s been great fun seeing the games, but being the psychologist that I am, I’ve been enthralled with all the plays, strategies, and coaching decisions that have been part of the action.
I was reminded that it’s not just a bunch of guys playing a game for fun – something’s at stake. Coaches and athletes don’t leave the outcome to chance. They have a playbook. They show up on game day with a strategic plan.
Dave Adamson-Unsplash
We don’t typically think about having a plan when we’re on the playing fields of our relationships.
We start speaking without thinking; we bring up hot topics when were emotional, and our motivation is to be heard rather than to listen.
When we want something to change, we criticize rather than calmly express our true desires.
We find ourselves losing yardage in the conversation, and what’s at stake – the health of our relationship – is in jeopardy.
It doesn’t take long for relational patterns to develop. You’ve already learned quite a bit about how conversations go with your significant people.
So, why not have a playbook of your own?
When things are getting heated and you need some space to consider what you should do, call a time out.
When your plays for total resolution (your touchdown) become unrealistic, simply think of the next best step for you both to take. (Kick that field goal.)
When the other person isn’t behaving in ways you expected, give yourself permission to call an audible – to change your approach (maybe your mind) to something different.
(As I said, ‘been watching a lot of football.)
Difficult conversations will always happen with people in your life (we’re human beings, right?), but it certainly is possible for you to walk away from them holding the game ball!
Cheers to you – making a plan to feel like a winner!
DrKay
If you'd like to discover more about how to build our playbook, contact me at stormbreakerconflictcoaching.com and let's talk!
