Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Train That Dragon!


You may have heard it said, “If you want a change, make a change.” It’s a smart mantra, but when we try to apply that to an anxiety-producing environment, the idea can be pretty daunting.

Difficult face-to-face conversations sometimes fall into that category. It’s usually because we‘re anticipating conflict and we’re afraid we won’t know how to handle it. This is a fairly common view and why so many of us avoid those dialogues. 

Since the event involves another person (and they’re a wild card), we mistakenly think we can’t affect how the interaction will go and we don’t always see the power we have on our side.

The truth is, you have what it takes to handle the circumstances – you just need a chance to figure that out.


You’d be surprised at how much you already know – about yourself, and about them:

Your buttons they regularly push (because they’ve learned which ones work)
The poor communication habits that already exist between you (like interrupting each other)
Historical patterns of behavior (they don’t seem to listen to you)

Take a quiet moment; think about the information you have, and choose just one thing you can do differently – something that you know would be good to do with that particular person.

For example,

Decide you’re going to count to 10 when your buttons are pushed (and dodge that bullet).
Take a deep breath and slow down when you’re tempted to interrupt (or maybe when they’ve just interrupted you). 
Make it a point to actively listen to their needs first (it will calm them down so you can talk).

It’s remarkable how giving a little forethought to the situation can be transforming.

Then, tackle that conversation, believing things will be different, and they will be – because you are.

Cheers to you – discovering the power within!

DrKay 

If you'd like to discover more about how to train your dragon, contact me at stormbreakerconflictcoaching.com for a complimentary conversation!  

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