Hurricanes and Junk Food

We just went through Hurricane Irma here in Florida. We did all the prep work, endured the storm, and are in the process of recovery.

In comparing notes with my fellow Floridians, one thing we all seem to agree on is that when you go through a hurricane, you eat a lot of junk food – candy, snacks, soda, chips, Twinkies -- you name it.

I don’t know what it is about being cooped up in a storm that brings out the Junk Food Tiger in us, but it does, and when you let the tiger out, that’s the end of your disciplined, sensible eating.

Even if you don’t normally eat much of that stuff, you give yourself permission to when you’re doing your hurricane prep. You think, “Oh boy, a hurricane, I can buy junk food!”

For some reason, there’s a similar dynamic that gets activated when we’re in the midst of conflict. Under normal circumstances in our relationships, we would never think of saying vindictive words to one another. We wouldn’t automatically think the worst of someone we love. We would be caring toward them and be disciplined in our words.

And yet, when disagreements happen and things get heated, we start to feel the stirring of the Conflict Tiger within us. We may stay on top of things for awhile, but then we get frustrated, or the other person hurts us, and we give ourselves permission to let the tiger out. We lose control and become very hurtful people. We justify our behaviors because we are in the midst of a storm.

We Floridians can’t always calculate the harm that eating all the hurricane junk food does to us, but there is no question about the destruction that comes from losing control in conflict.

The truth is, you don’t have to succumb. When you feel yourself starting to allow your behavior to deteriorate, stop the conversation. Take a break. Find a way to gently tell the other person that perhaps you need to think about what’s been said so far and agree to rejoin them later.

Just like we hurricane people still have power over our food choices (the weather does not make us do it), you have power over your own behavioral choices. Don’t use the conflict hurricane as an excuse to wound others.

You are stronger than the storm.

 DrK

If you'd like to know more about taming your conflict tiger, contact me at confidentconflict.com for a complimentary conversation!  

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