Where Are You?

If one is out of touch with oneself, then one cannot touch others.

~Anne Morrow Lindbergh

This principle that Anne Lindbergh sums up is one that social scientists, scholars, and spiritual teachers have studied and written about for centuries. It is applicable in all human relations.

As we engage with one another, this is the order of things: knowing and being oneself first, then responding to others out of that understanding in meaningful and productive ways.

One reason we have such a difficult time when conflict happens is because we immediately begin to lose touch with ourselves. Our intentions become lost in our efforts to regain control of the conversation, and we start to deny our own perspectives or interests.

Holding on to yourself in those turbulent moments is quite a challenge!

Regaining your own thoughts is the first order of business in those situations. It will impact how you keep the circumstances from getting out of control, and will prevent you from losing your way in a complicated conversation.

When you feel yourself starting to go adrift, check in with yourself:

Are we still talking about the topic I brought up?

Am I still pursuing the goal I had in mind?

Am I still making choices here?

Then, go ahead and redirect the conversation as you feel necessary.

When you purpose to do this, you will be in a much better position to navigate what lies ahead.

DrK 

If you'd like to know more about being yourself in conflict, contact me at confidentconflict.com for a complimentary conversation!  

"12 Ways to Rule in Conflict" Free Download