You're In Charge

You won’t change the story of your relationships until you reclaim 

your authority to write it.

Many times we realize we want something to be different in our relationships – we want to make a change – but somehow this thought never gets translated into action.

Not understanding the personal authority we possess is one of the central barriers to confidently undertaking this effort.

When I use the term, personal authority, I’m defining it as total dominion over yourself to:

Dictate your own choices

Say “no” when that’s what you want to say, and to say “yes”

Regulate what you’re not willing to accept in your relationships – and what you are

Determine the culture of your sphere of influence

Take a minute to think about this today. Do you recognize yourself in these statements? Which ones? Which ones have you forgotten you own?

Let 2019 be the year you take hold of this truth – especially in the areas where you have abdicated your rule. 

When you’re facing tough situations with the people in your life, remember the authority that already belongs to you. Not with the intention to overpower them, but so you can have assurance for the jurisdiction of your actions.

This will enable you to function from a place of confidence and security. Best of all, it will open your heart to compassion and love.

Cheers to you – understanding your authorship!

DrK

If you'd like to discover more about how to access your personal authority, contact me at stormbreakerconflictcoaching.com for a complimentary conversation!  

"12 Ways to Rule in Conflict" Free Ebook Download  

 

Conflict and Authority (Who's The Boss?)

If you've spent any time around little children at play, you know that when one of them starts to get too pushy, another child finally says, "You're not the boss of me!"

Children learn at a very young age there is someone who exercises control over how they behave. They are very clear about who that is (generally their parents), and they are not willing to give that authority to anyone else.

As we grow into adulthood, the developmental task for all of us is to move from the child's perspective of "someone else is the boss of me," to I am the boss of me." We learn to shift the location of the control of our actions from someone external to us to our own inward authority.

Generally, this development of what psychologists call "personal authority" goes relatively well. When conflict starts happening though, we often find ourselves in an adult conversation with a person who becomes like that pushy child, telling us what to do, and challenging the jurisdiction we have over our actions.

Do you sometimes lose sight of the fact that you are the authority for your life? (Or maybe you're the pushy one!)

When you feel this happening, be as convinced as that little child at play about to whom the authority belongs. Remember that you are the boss of you -- you have executive power -- and stay in charge of your choices.

As Pema Chodron writes, "You are the sky. Everything else -- it's just the weather."

DrK

If you'd like to learn more about developing your personal authority, contact me at www.confidentconflict.com or on Facebook