What's On The Inside Counts

One of the most significant reasons we avoid conflict is our belief that we don’t have any answers, or know what to do for the situation. What generally happens then is a type of paralysis: we do nothing.

In the confusion of relational conflict, it’s easy to think that you don’t have any ideas about how to move forward, or what to do in the midst of the difficult conversation. The reality is, you do – you just don’t see it yet.

Most of the time when I engage with clients, they look to me for all the solutions, but I’ve learned they already know what they’d like to do, or how they’d like their conversations to go. I believe this is the circumstance for you too.

When you find yourself in this place, do a little “barrier removal” and allow your thinking to expand.

If you’re feeling stuck about a confusing interpersonal situation, take some time to do the Magic Wand Exercise: ask yourself, if you could wave a magic wand, how would things unfold? What would you express out loud to the other person? What would they say to you if you allowed them to articulate what’s truly on their mind? What would things look like in the end when all was well?

Of course, I realize you don’t have magic for what’s going on, but this exercise will reveal for you that you do have some specific thoughts, wishes, and desired outcomes after all. 

Believe that these are worth pursuing.

Most importantly, know that in some form or fashion, they are attainable.

So don’t be paralyzed – tucked inside you is exactly where you want to go!

DrK
If you'd like to know more about discovering what you want, contact me at confidentconflict.com for a complimentary conversation!  
"12 Ways to Rule in Conflict" Free Download