The Obstacles Are The Path

Recently I was listening to a roundtable discussion among motion picture directors. They spoke of learning to accept the unexpected detours in their moving-making as part of the process for their intended film. Then, one director referenced a Zen proverb, remarking that the obstacles were the path.

This is often our experience when we encounter conflict in our relationships. We view disagreements as obstacles to our being successful. We believe that if we are moving in the right direction, with all developing happily, we are on the right path. When conflict happens, we think something has gone wrong.

As the directors discovered though, conflicts are not pulling us off the true path for what we’re hoping to create. The conflicts are the path. Depth and intimacy in a relationship are formed through acceptance, understanding, and trust. These qualities are shallow and one-dimensional if they’re built solely on our own viewpoint, our own beliefs about the other person. It’s necessary for us to “bump into each other” and experience the crucible that produces a new, multi-dimensional connection.

I am absolutely not saying that hurtful, destructive fighting is necessary in a relationship! (Which is why I’m dedicated to teaching you how to do conflict well).  What I am saying is the obstacles of controversy actually do function to move you forward in creating the relationship you desire.

As you’re making the movie of your life, I’m encouraging you to adjust the camera lens of how you might be viewing your detours – not only the conflicts in your relationships, but any closed door you encounter.

When you run into them, be at peace. Remind yourself, this is the way forward.

Remind yourself, you’re still on the path.

Cheers to you – knowing the truth about obstacles!

DrK 
If you'd like to discover more about handling those obstacles in conflict, contact me at stormbreakerconflictcoaching.com for a complimentary conversation!  

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