Conflict and Competence (What's Inside Counts)

Competence:  The ability to do something successfully or efficiently.

When we think about dealing with the relational conflicts in our life, we don't easily go to the word "competence." More often than not, being in conflict feels like we are in the midst of chaos and barely holding on. Our only conscious goal is to try to get through it.

It doesn't occur to us that we may have inborn abilities to deal with difficult relational circumstances.

You do possess some conflict competence, you know, it's just a little buried.

Human beings have a natural desire to be in relationship and to be connected to one another. This need drives us to try and figure out how to resolve any disconnection.

Deep inside you do know how you want to handle your relationships. You know how you want to behave, what you value, and what you want to say in conflict situations. Yet this ability is hidden underneath layers of fear, confusion, intense emotions, and insecurities.

Today I'm challenging you to do a little digging . . . 

When you are able to be in a quiet place, give some thought to a recent conflict and consider how you might have handled it if all those layers hadn't been there . . . What would you have said? What would you have stood up for? What kindness would have been present in you as you engaged with the other person?

Take note of these things. Begin to discover your capacity to influence how your conversations go.

And then practice being you the next time around!

DrK

If you'd like to know more about discovering your conflict competence, contact me at
confidentconflict.com for a complimentary conversation!

"12 Ways to Rule in Conflict" Free Download