Conflict and Effort (Consider Your Choice)

Much of the time, when we find ourselves in a relational conflict, we want to find the easy way out.

Does that sound familiar?

Maybe when it’s you, it’s not very appealing to spend that kind of time or energy on resolving the issues. Making an effort to work things out might feel like too much work.

What you need to realize though  is that conflict itself takes effort, and that you are spending time and energy by not resolving the issues.

 

It takes effort to stay angry with someone, or to stubbornly hold on to your position against their resistance. You are spending time and energy being upset about the situation and rehearsing every anticipated conversation about it (maybe even losing sleep from time to time).

So its not really a question of making an effort, but of making the kind of effort that will bring good results.

Of course, that kind of effort requires more of you, doesn’t it? It holds more risk, less safety. You could reach out to the other person and they could possibly hurt you in return.

But think how it would be if your efforts bore fruit – if you found a way to repair something broken, to make peace in the relationship after all? What relief might that bring?

The next time things get rocky and you don’t feel like making the effort to smooth them out, consider the choice you have in how you want to use your energies. Be open to pushing forward, and make that effort toward something good.

DrK

If you'd like to know more about making an effort in conflict, contact me at
confidentconflict.com for a complimentary conversation!

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