Conflict and Thanksgiving (Something For Your Gratitude List)

November ushers in the Season of Thanksgiving, and this week, many families and friends will gather together to celebrate that season. Hopefully, there will be moments of reflection on Thursday, and time to consider being blessed.

A sense of gratitude is not something we ordinarily associate with conflict though – that’s not quite the emotion we go to when we’re having trouble in a relationship.

So today I’d like to offer you the perspective that even with conflict, you can be grateful.

 

One of the most detrimental things to a relationship is indifference – simply not caring about it – feeling lukewarm about what goes on, being uninvolved or apathetic.

People in conflict are not indifferent. In actuality, they care about something very much. They care about an outcome; they care about the impact you have on their life; they may care about what you think of them.

If someone is engaging in conflict with you, it’s because something is getting stirred up in them (and probably in you!). Something matters, and chances are, they’re trying to get that across to you because they want you to understand them.

 

As you think about the people in your life this week for whom you are thankful, be thankful too for the ways they drive you crazy and lock horns with you every so often. Be thankful they are not indifferent to you or to your relationship. Be thankful they want to find ways to keep you in their life, and that they want you to understand them.

Regardless of what it feels like when you’re having trouble with them, be thankful that it’s all happening because you matter.

DrK

If you'd like to know more about feeling thankful in conflict, contact me at confidentconflict.com for a complimentary conversation!

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