Conflict and Clarity (Having New Eyes)

Often when I have an opening conversation with a new client, she is  all over the map while talking about the conflict that’s bothering her. As she’s speaking, I hear many emotions and many issues that are on her mind. It all comes tumbling out in a stream of consciousness as she jumps from one topic to another. 

Part of our initial work is to sort through everything and help her get more organized in her thinking so she has a greater understanding of the conflict, and can envision the outcome she truly wants.

Relational conflicts can push many buttons. You may be aware of the familiar ones, but new ones can be in the mix as well. Sometimes smaller matters are related to one another and are actually a part of a bigger issue. Sometimes the entire conflict is actually only about one main on-going problem.

It's necessary to take this organizational step to reduce confusion and identify what is important to you in the conflict. It is essential to have an accurate road map for where you want to go with the situation, and to know what resolution looks like to you. 

Equipped with this understanding, you will also be clear about subsequent actions you want to take. 

Clarity can be difficult in the heat of the moment, but taking the time to develop this insight in peaceful moments will have a significant impact or your ability to articulate your goals and desires when tackling any follow-up conversations in the future.

DrK

 
If you'd like to know more about clarity in conflict, contact me at
confidentconflict.com for a complimentary conversation!

"12 Ways to Rule in Conflict" Free Download

Conflict and Limits (In Your Own Eyes)

Leadership expert, John Maxwell, has said, "To be successful in any endeavor, we need to get out of our own way."

This is certainly true when it comes to the goal of improving how we handle conflict. We can be our own biggest obstacle to taking the action we desire. The key is in how we see ourselves.

If, in your own eyes, you are small and powerless, lacking the ability to overcome a conflict situation, you will not be successful in making changes.

Behavioral scientists call these perspectives limiting beliefs. They are the thoughts we have that confine us, that keep us from taking the steps to move forward -- in other words, self-imposed prisons.

Conflict is something that can cause you to feel weak and confused, so you begin to see yourself in a state of diminished capacity. I'm sure you can recall a time when this has happened to you.

It is critical to move past this restrictive mentality and see the competence that already lies within you to master your situation. Reconnecting with the strengths and internal resources you already have will enable you to create a new vision of what you want.

When you become stronger in your own eyes -- when you see yourself as truly being capable of learning new skills and actually having influence on your environment -- it will make all the difference.

DrK
If you'd like some help identifying your own limiting beliefs, contact me at confidentconflict.com  and let's talk!
"12 Ways to Rule in Conflict"