Leadership expert, John Maxwell, has said, "To be successful in any endeavor, we need to get out of our own way."
This is certainly true when it comes to the goal of improving how we handle conflict. We can be our own biggest obstacle to taking the action we desire. The key is in how we see ourselves.
If, in your own eyes, you are small and powerless, lacking the ability to overcome a conflict situation, you will not be successful in making changes.
Behavioral scientists call these perspectives limiting beliefs. They are the thoughts we have that confine us, that keep us from taking the steps to move forward -- in other words, self-imposed prisons.
Conflict is something that can cause you to feel weak and confused, so you begin to see yourself in a state of diminished capacity. I'm sure you can recall a time when this has happened to you.
It is critical to move past this restrictive mentality and see the competence that already lies within you to master your situation. Reconnecting with the strengths and internal resources you already have will enable you to create a new vision of what you want.
When you become stronger in your own eyes -- when you see yourself as truly being capable of learning new skills and actually having influence on your environment -- it will make all the difference.
DrK
If you'd like some help identifying your own limiting beliefs, contact me at confidentconflict.com and let's talk!
"12 Ways to Rule in Conflict"
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