Conflict and Freedom (Breaking the Chains)

Have you ever noticed this when you’re in a relational conflict:

As you keep reacting to the situation you feel less and less in charge of yourself and what you want to say?

As this happens, you experience a loss of freedom to engage how you want.

Most of us are aware of feelings of confusion, disorganization, and tension in conflict. We don’t always realize we are loosing liberty as well.

Recently, I attended a meeting with two other people; it was a volatile situation and emotions ran high. I keep reacting to what was said as we went along, and by the time it was over, I’d said things I didn’t want to say, and agreed to do things I didn’t want to do.

When I left that encounter, not only did I feel drained, but I felt completely bound and entangled. As I drove away in my car alone, feeling free to be me, all that I’d wanted to communicate came tumbling out aloud (with great emotion!)

When I calmed down, I knew the step I’d missed was not getting perfectly clear on my own goals for that meeting, and on what I wanted to communicate for myself before I got there.

If all you do is react when you’re in that kind of situation, you are in a defenseless position and the chains will eventually come. You will not have the freedom to be you in the situation, nor will you have the freedom to hear and accept others.

Take the time to know yourself in conflict situations. Know what you need to do to give yourself  solid ground from which to respond.

It can make all the difference in feeling free when you walk away.

DrK

If you'd like to know more about how to have freedom in conflict, contact me at
confidentconflict.com for a complimentary conversation!
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