Confict and Resources (Four and Forty)

Something I've observed in watching my children grow up (they're young adults now) is that they have been who they are their whole lives. I see in them today the same characteristics, personality, and outlook that I've always seen -- when they were little, in high school, and now.

 I discovered that this thought was not unique to me when I recently heard a TV sitcom character exclaim, "Who we are at four, we are at forty."

Working with clients in conflict, I've learned it is important to acknowledge this, because what they often miss when tackling change is that their most valuable resources lie within them -- in what is already there, what they already know. In developing new conflict strategies, the goal is not to alter the essence of who you are, but to create a stronger you.

Just like those software updates for your technology, every new release is better than the one before (well, hopefully), but it's still the same basic operating system, program, or app you've come to love.

Wanting change in your life is often rooted in dissatisfaction -- something isn't working any more. No doubt you've experienced this. If you are currently dealing with a troubling situation though, don't let the dissatisfaction be with yourself -- as if there is something lacking in you, or somehow you need to be fixed.

Look at the negative circumstances and outcomes that are surrounding you, and use your unique energy to go toward changing them.

Recommit to what you have always valued, and what you know is right. Then tackle the task with just a little software update for that fabulous four year old you still are!

DrK

If you'd like some help in exploring the resources that are within you, contact me at

confidentconflict.com for a complimentary conversation!
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