Conflict and Empathy (You Can Make An Impact)

When you find yourself in the middle of a conflict, you usually experience all sorts of debilitating states. You get confused, lose your train of thought, or feel overpowered. You become self-protective, and believe the other person doesn’t care about you or how you feel.

It is valuable to realize that if you are experiencing these dynamics, the other person is too. No matter what their non-verbal signals may tell you, they are experiencing the same confusion, weakness, and self-protective state that you are.

If you remember this, and try to help them out, you can do a lot to change the energy of the situation all by yourself. When you slow down your speech, or soften your voice, they don’t feel the need to self-protect so acutely. When you alter your words and tone from attacking to caring, it helps them (and you) feel connected again. 

A little goes a long way; just a small shift in your behavior can have a positive impact. Remember that they are having trouble too, and take steps to interject a little stability. By considering your shared difficulties, you can make a positive impact.

Take this dynamic into account the next time you’re talking to someone and they are getting upset. Understand that you share feelings in the encounter, and think about what you can do physically to be gentler in your approach.

When you are in that situation, be mindful of what you are experiencing and follow-through with actions that demonstrate your awareness that both of you are in the same boat. 

You will see results.

DrK

If you'd like to know more about how to develop empathy in conflict, contact me at
confidentconflict.com for a complimentary conversation!

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