We all have them . . .
Those nerve-racking conversations
that loom in our future, put a knot in our stomach, and keep a low level of
anxiety with us every day. I’m sure you know what I mean.
Maybe you have to deliver bad
news that will be heart-breaking for another person. Or maybe it’s good news
(for you) but you know it will still alter the other person’s life and they
won’t be happy about it.
So you keep putting it off.
One of the ways to do this is
by rehearsing what you’re going to say – over and over. You think that if you
can get your wording right and be ready for what the other person might say, you
can head off some of the terribleness you anticipate in coming face to face
with the wave of emotions.
This is faulty thinking
though. It is an illusion to believe it is within in our control to keep the
conversation from being difficult. By the very definition of the task at hand,
it is going to be troublesome – there's no escaping it.
So here are two things for
you to remember:
1. You just have to go ahead and wade into the deep water.
A little prep work does help.
It is a good idea to take some time to collect your thoughts and consider your
objectives. It is also a good idea to try to put yourself in the other person’s
shoes so you’re ready with some solid help for them.
But taking more and more time
to do this will not change the future. Only tackling the conversation will.
2. When you do this, great relief will be waiting for you.
No matter how distressing the
encounter may go, the weight of the anticipation will lift off your shoulders.
Instead of so much of your energy being utilized in dealing with dread and
worry, now your energies will fuel forward movement – for you and for them.
DrK
If you'd like to know more about how to face those tough conflict moments, contact me at confidentconflict.com for a complimentary conversation!
"12 Ways to Rule in Conflict" Free Download
"12 Ways to Rule in Conflict" Free Download
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