Conflict and Listening (Go for the Gold)

As long as there is human interaction, people will be writing, talking, and teaching about listening!

When it comes to conflict, listening isn't just a good idea for communication's sake; it can actually turn the tide of a difficult conversation -- and so can failing to listen.

Here's why:

1.   When you don't listen, your potential for understanding diminishes greatly -- and understanding is crucial for working through a conflict.

We've all been there when we've had a whole conversation about something, only to discover we'd misunderstood what was originally said, and realize we'd been completely off track.

When you have no understanding about the conflict circumstances, you become thoroughly ineffective, and may not even be dealing with the true matter at hand.

2.   When you don't listen, you block your ability to learn about the situation, and about the others involved.

Communication is always happening. Even when a person is speaking emotionally, you can still learn a lot -- what is really bother them, what is most important to them about what's going on, etc.

When you continue to listen, you continue to collect essential information, which is key to handling the conflict well.

3.   When you stop listening, you stop being open, and this will escalate the conflict.

The decision to stop listening is the decision to close your mind (and your heart) to the other person. You cut yourself off from possibilities, from empathy, from finding a peaceful solution.

There's nothing the conflict can do but intensify.

So when you sense friction beginning, and tension starting to mount, tell yourself, "Ok, I've really got to hang in there and listen now."

Then, practice the listening discipline that will bring you those golden nuggets of understanding, learning, and openness.

DrK

If you'd like some help developing your listening sills, contact me at
confidentconflict.com for a complimentary conversation!
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