Conflict and Loss (Treasure in Your Midst)

Awhile back, I opened a fortune cookie from my Chinese take-out and the small piece of paper inside said, “Treasure what you have.”

What got me thinking was the word “treasure.” It wasn’t “remember” what you have, or “think about” what you have. The word used was “treasure” -- cherish, hold dear, prize. It spoke to me of more than simply listing what I might possess. 

 

Treasuring comes from a deeper place within us. We almost have to stop whatever it is we’re doing to treasure something, or someone, to actually think about the precious value that might be there.

Conflict is an experience that interferes with treasuring what we have. We so often walk away from it acutely feeling what we’ve lost -- confidence, respect, joy.

Sometimes it’s hard to believe we still have something to treasure.

I can assure you though --  you do. 

Even if it is only measured in moments . . .

A moment when you told the truth instead of lying

A moment when you resisted hurting the other person

A moment when you felt friendship.

When you focus on what you don’t have (or what didn’t happen), it weakens you. In that mindset, you’re operating from a deficit. When you recognize what you do have, you get stronger, and when you stop to value those things, that connection can strengthen you even more.

In the days to come, realize what you did hold on to in the midst of a difficult conflict – what you still have – and believe you do have something to treasure.

DrK

If you'd like to know more about how to discover your treasure in conflict, contact me at
confidentconflict.com for a complimentary conversation!

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