When I started my doctoral work, I was delighted to learn that many of the things I thought about conflict were myths. In discovering my misconceptions, I gained some new understanding and found myself in a greater position of strength to handle my relational turbulence. Hopefully, a few of these posts will do the same for you.
So . . . are you ready to rule?
Myth #1 Conflict is always something that takes you by surprise, that you have no control over, and cannot anticipate.
The truth is, a very large percentage of conflicts are completely predictable (who knew?). If you think about it, many of the conflicts you have in your life are part of a reoccurring pattern. By now, you've lived long enough (or lived with someone long enough) to know exactly what your hot buttons are, or how you may approach events differently than other people in your life. You may even keep having the same conversations.
Armed with all that information, and a lifetime of observations, you can definitely anticipate and prepare for what might happen in familiar situations. (Why you don't do this is a different blog post :)
The most significant predictor of conflict is change -- a shift in circumstances -- a new job, a new boss, changing schools, moving across town. When you, and the people around you, are trying to adjust to change, conflict happens. I'm sure you've experienced this many times.
So the good news is we can plan ahead -- right? (Why we don't is yet another post!)
We all know conflict is inevitable, but unsubscribing to the myth that we are totally at its mercy can provide opportunities for you to be proactive and skillfully handle many of the conflicts that may come your way.
~ DrK
To learn more about being proactive in conflict, contact me at www.confidentconflict.com -- and sign up for my free offer for a few more ways to rule.
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