Balance is a word that has several meanings. It can refer to bodily equilibrium, or to mental steadiness and emotional stability. It has also been defined as a state of rest.
Experts tell us that if we want to improve our physical balance, we should focus on strengthening our core muscles -- the ones located in our torso -- because these are the muscles that provide the support for the spine and pelvis.
Putting our arms out like an airplane is actually not the essential element to maintaining our balance. How we use these core muscles dictates our power to evenly distribute our weight and remain upright and steady.
Keeping our balance in conflict is quite similar to maintaining our bodily balance. When we experience equilibrium in a relationship -- both internally for us as individuals, as well as between us and the other person -- we enjoy that state of rest and our relational interactions are good. But when something knocks us off-balance -- a look, a remark, an unexpected emotion -- our stability is compromised.
The remedy for improving our mental and emotional steadiness in these conversations is the same as the body work: we strengthen our core, the innermost part of who we are -- our values, our desire for protecting the relationship, our determination to hold on to respectful behaviors. When these guide our actions, they keep us stable in the flux of those moments.
If we learn how to strength our core abilities, we can find ways to keep our composure and cultivate a habit of calm behavior even in the midst of shifting emotions.
Your core abilities for your own equilibrium are always with you. In the times when you're not seeing them, remember they are there, and use them as that primary key to keeping your balance.
DrK
If you'd like to explore some practical help with strengthening your core abilities, contact me at www.confidentconflict.com
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