Conflict and Advice (Thanks, But No Thanks)

Most of us have people in our lives who like to give us advice -- family members, co-workers, particular friends -- and some do it much more than we'd like them to.

When they repeatedly offer this advice, you want to respond, but you can tell if you do, it will be more sarcastic than kind, and may even result in come conflict.

It happens so frequently though, it's beginning to bother you, and now you want to figure it out.

The remedy you're seeking is planned responses (now, don't roll your eyes).

Here's how you can practice handling the situation and get good at it.

Because it is recurring, you are already familiar with the patterns of their communication. You know when they are genuinely trying to help and when they just want to sound smarter than you. So take a few peaceful minutes and design some responses.

A few examples:

When you already know what they're telling you, but they just want to be helpful:

• "I'm glad you said that, I've found that to be true too, so that just confirms it for me."

When what they say doesn't really fit what you need:

•  "Thanks, I've been trying to figure out what actually works for me, but I'll keep that in mind."

When you don't want their advice:

• "Thanks, but I think I've got this."

(You get the picture.)

It may be that in the end you'll just have to patiently forgive and love them as the people in your life, but in the meantime, give planned responses a try -- it will definitely help.

DrK

If you'd like some help figuring out a recurring situation in your life, contact me at 
confidentconflict.com for a complimentary conversation!
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